The biggest gift you can give your child is how to be independent and take responsibility. If a child fears independence and responsibility, you can solve this problem by having a written agreement that shows the child how they can live by your rules and has ongoing discussions about the goal of independence and how it can be achieved. In discussions with a staff member, the duration of your agreement will be developed based on your needs and the program you are participating in. You can have more than one agreement for a total of 48 months (4 years) of support. For parents who have not reached a structured agreement when their child is 18, it`s never too late to meet one. The agreement you have with the child should allow for adult privileges. In particular, if the child works and is responsible, your agreement with him must be very flexible. On his day off, he can sleep all day for everything that is important to you. But he can`t stay outside all night without calling you, because you`re going to worry, and it`s his responsibility to let you know he`s safe. If he doesn`t want to, he should move into a more independent living situation. You won`t have the total freedom and support to live at home at the same time.
The best thing you can do for your young adult child is to follow the letter of the law and say: if you are a young adult currently entering the AYA program and you think the circumstances listed above since the 17th Contact your AYA staff or the provincial Centralized Screening at 1-800-663-9122 to explore resources and support. Young Indigenous adults with a plan that meets the AYA criteria can seek help from their group or tribal council – they must be able to assist with funding. If not, you can get an AYA if you live on or from the reserve. Independence is a decision you can make as a family. If a young adult child is doing well, lives at home and meets the expectations of the family, there is no problem. But one day he will want to be independent. Starting October 1, 2020, AYA`s rehabilitation program offers young adults greater flexibility in accessing mental health care, including cultural healing and wellness. Insider Tip A youth agreement is a legal agreement between you and the Ministry of Children and Family Development (MCFD) in case of extreme distress. A thorough assessment of your circumstances is done by your local MCFD office, and if appropriate, we will work with your family to meet your needs. The ministry`s figures show that the number of eligible youth who receive at least one payment for agreements with young adults during their 19th birthday increased from 22% to 27% in 2018. The number of beneficiaries increased from 701 to 895.
“This is the time when we meet. We have to talk to get through the agreement. This is the third and final part of a series of three-part articles by James Lehman, MSW, on the difficult topic of adult children living at home. In this segment, James looks at whether you can make a life agreement with your child. The living agreement should be very clear on alcohol and drugs, and that`s simply because the law makes it easy.